Labels

I've met people who do not want to get themselves, or a child in their care, a diagnosis because they don't want the stigma of a label.  My responses to that are:

·      These days it's less stigma and more cachet than it used to be, and I hope to reduce that stigma further.

·      Lack of diagnosis results in lack of access to available support and training.

·      Lack of early support and training leads to having to learn many things by trial and error that often results in poorer study and work outcomes, and broken relationships.

·      Lack of support and training can leave the autistic person vulnerable to abuse, because we are less likely to see the red flags, and have no or very few psychological tools, techniques, or other resources to deal with it when it comes (and it will come).  Meanwhile, abusive people (whether they intend to abuse, or do it due to lack of thought, care, and consideration) can almost smell our vulnerability; we become proverbial sitting ducks.

Before I met Other Half, I had been in a relationship that was very unhealthy.  I had had no training in recognising the red flags, and no knowledge of how to (successfully) ‘push back’ or extricate myself.

I stayed in that relationship for far, far longer than I ever should have, while always hoping for rescue…but I didn’t know what form that rescue could, would, or should take, and didn’t recognise it when it was offered.  I also didn't know know how to exercise the rights and choices I thought I still had, never mind the ones I thought were no longer available.

This, by the way, is what I found myself sobbing about when I read the paper I mentioned in my “My reasons for a diagnosis” post of 8 January 2021. (Don't worry, dear reader, Other Half knows all about that relationship.)

Now, I'm not saying that one has to be autistic to be caught in a bad relationship - there are far too many bad relationships around for that to be the case - just that we are particularly vulnerable.

·      It is the choice of the autistic person (or their parent / guardian / carer) whether they declare their diagnosis.  No-one else has to know – no-one gets stamped with an obvious visible sign upon diagnosis.  However, their difficulties may have made them visible already anyway.